January 10, 2018

How I Do It

Kitties, I got it down right.  Its a no fail deal.  What?  Ruling the household.  How?  Easy.

You hafta be a kitty and you hafta be soft.  We are like--- the softest silkiest rulers in the world.  No one else compares.  So, you gotta be soft.  Then, you begin sleeping on or next to your mom or dad's head.  Purr loudly while you're there.  The combination of your soothing warmth, your beyond compare softness and the purring I just mentioned...they drop off to sleep like they're falling off a cliff! They say its annoying at first, poor things, and sometimes they will make feeble efforts to pull away or even more disturbing...trying to push US away.  However, persist.  Name of the game.  Just walk softly on up t their heads and settle.  As soon as they feel that incredible warm softness against their face...you're in like Flynn.  You have your personal heated pillow!  Them.  You will always have it.  No one can take it away.  No other pillow can scratch your head for you...pet you..provide warmth, whisper to you and give you smoochies on your head and cheekies

Last night I took it to the next level.  I was pointed downward, all slung out with my nose and my face right at/in her ear.  She felt (and smelt) my perfect breath and my whiskers.  And my snoring.  But first... the purring plus my heartbeat was an added attraction.  She started complaining again but that hushed as she fell asleep anyway.

She woke at 3 with my face in her ear; my arms straight down across her face diagonally, and my feets rammed into her throat.  Yup.  Now she did move my feets.  I'll have to train her on that.

Just sayin'...that's how you do it.


27 comments:

Lone Star Cats said...

Ya definitely know how to be BOSS!

The Whiskeratti said...

My word, girl, those are some advanced techniques.

Simba said...

Katie, you make it sound so easy, but I know for a fact that you have the primo technique. None of us can quite duplicate it.

pilch92 15andmeowing said...

Your mom doesn't realize how lucky she is. Yes, she does :) XO

Katie Isabella said...

Made mommy grin!

NanaDiana said...

LOL---Love it-naughty or not...I love it!

Brian said...

You are such a special love bug sweet Katie!

William's Kith & Kin said...

It takes a very special girl to be so loving, Katie!

John Bellen said...

My Cammie seems to have been learning from you, Katie. She has taken to lying on my face when I go to bed. So far, it's only for about ten minutes at a time. So far. I do enjoy her purring, though.

The Island Cats said...

Katie, you are queen of your castle. :)

meowmeowmans said...

That is how you do it, for sure, sweet Katie! Your Mommy sure is lucky to have you. :)

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

That is all well and fine if you are an ONLY cat, Katie... but what about when you have to deal with a tortie in the house? The competition is fierce here!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

What excellent instructions. I rarely sleep on the Human's head, but when I do, I wait till she's dead asleep, and then I creep from my pillow onto hers and plop down with my stomach on the top of her head. It really freaks her out every time and she always pushes me away, but I don't mind. It's really the freak-out I'm going for, and once it happens I am happy to jump lightly to the floor. You, on the other hand, have elevated this to an art form. XOXOXOXO Maybe I should come observe.

Bionic Basil said...

MOL Katie, that is such pawesome advice and we'll be getting young Fudge to read this, as he needs a few lessons!

Happy Purrsday

Basil & Co xox

CATachresis said...

Katie, you should give masterclasses on how to ruin .. errr ... I mean help the human's sleep! Personally, I prefer to be on watch out side the house, to keep all marauders at bay! I'm pretty successful. 100% no illegal admission to the homestead!! xxx

Anonymous said...

Oh thanks Miss Katie for the pawsome lesson! I've got the soft thing, and the sweet breathing thing, but I still don't like to sleep with my Mom and Dad. I like flopping around and having my SPACE.....they like that too so being together at night just doesn't work for us. I prefer sleeping in my bachelor's lair - the basement. Then when Mom gets up in the morning and I come up from the basement it's like LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT all over again! I guess we all have to find out "perfect night". Yours is in your Mom's face and I'm sure she loves it....

Hugs, Teddy

Tamago said...

I agree kitty warmth and sweet purring--those are like lullaby and make me fall asleep quickly :-) Niko and I go to bed together. I love falling asleep while he purrs and makes biscuit!

CatInTheFridge said...

HAHA! This is great. But... what do you do if you're not soft?! - Alana.

Selina said...

You are a pro! I always knew it. ^5

I have my own method: I just lie on MK's chest when she's lying on her back in the bed. Sometimes, I lie on her back when she's on her tummy! I'm a big girl, so you can imagine the heat I generate! Then, I make it fun by forcing my size and thrusting myself off of her and spring away to new adventures. She loves that (hee hee)

Purrz!
Selina

Tamago said...

P.S. It seems that I can't comment on Admiral san's blog... :-(

Clarissa said...

Beautiful Katie, you are one smart kitty!!! I like to nap on mom's chest when she is watching t.v. and in the recliner. If I sleep with her at night I will lay along her side. Brofur Sable (he's a year younger than me) has been known to lay on her head, or use her head for his pillow and purr in her ear. And sisfur Jazzpurr (we aren't sure, but think she around the same age as Sable) will sometimes wake mom up by headbutting her face, purring, and rubbing face on mom's face.

We love you, Katie!
Purrs,
Clarissa & Co.

SailorEdgar said...

We move around way too much at night for our cats to try that!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

katie; we iz crackin UP at thiz line : and my feets rammed into her throat. ☺☺☺☺☺☺

a most happee healthee 2018 two ewe N yur mom ♥♥♥

imbrite2 said...

Well done, KI. You have figured out the secret science of kitty cuddling. As a doggie, I stick to curling myself into a little ball and pressing myself as hard as possible into Mom's tummy. I keep my entire body - head included - under the covers. Mom wakes up a hundred times a night to try and open an air pocket for my nose. I don't really need it, but I humor her.

Love and licks,
Cupcake

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Katie Isabella,
Oh we do have the very same ruler in the house; he 'was' male but is only a bundle of sweetness and looks like being his Mami's magnet. Yes, he sleeps by wrapping himself around her head, different ways but always softly caressing and purring.
Hugs,
Mariette

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

You certainly have got it down to a fine art, Katie.

Pattyskypants said...

You have to be an expert at human psychology, Katie!