September 27, 2016

Advice Needed

 This is my best "pretty please"? face.

Kitties,  some dear kitty friends of mine are having a problem that many of our furriends here have had or are having.  They were hoping that maybe someone could help.  Their Dad will be reading the comments to see if there is something in the manner of advice they can use.

Here are the two girls.    Gracie and Millie.  Gracie, bottom picture is the older of the girls and Millie who is on top of course, is the youngest.  She is about four years of age.  Background is she was a kitten when she joined Gracie and her family.

Millie stalks, chases and bullies Gracie, the older girl.  That is bad enough but someone, no one knows if it is Gracie or Millie, is spraying around the house.

Both girls have been taken to the Vet to rule out urinary tract inflammation or infection and both girls are in good health.

Millie seems to resent Gracie using any of the litter boxes.  Since that is plural, more than one box, that is Millie being a so and so.  The vet recommended the usual..a Feliway diffuser and as has been mommy's luck with it through ALL her kitties thru the years, it does not work.  Poor Gracie is still being bullied and made to be afraid.

Has anyone any idea what the family can do?  I think it is a one story home and has several bedrooms but not that large so Gracie isn;t about to have her own suite nor should she be deprived of the house.

The Dad is really in need of help if you have any suggestions.  Please place them in comments.  XXOO


  1. Katie; we will forego trout speech today and hope this answer may help; we know gracie and millie have multiple boxes; but is the total two or three; rule of thumb I've always heard is one additional to the number of cats, dad needs three.

    how far away from each other are the boxes. they shouldn't be in close proximity; in fact the further away from each other the better. if they are covered, take the covers off

    dumb as this sounds if dad see's gracie starting towards the box he can intervene if millie approaches by "leading" millie away; don't use words like NO etc around millie, because it may be gracie thinks she's being told no: he could also use a water spray bottle on millie if she attempts to go near gracie.

    if gracie uses the box at regular intervals; IE: mornings, he could place a box in a room for her that's closed off until she finishes her business

    if dad does have room; he might try separating them for just a day and see if that helps any

    not much help I know, but we do have all paws crossed a solution can be found that brings peace back in the house


  2. the tabbies gave great advice - separating the boxes could help. also...they may have to temporarily separate the girls and "reintroduce" them. something may have happened along the way and they need a chance to meet again and learn positive things about each other.

  3. These are good suggestions - I hope you get some more to help these two girls.

  4. That is good advice from the Tabbies. I hope a solution can be found so harmony reigns.

  5. Wonderful advice from the Tabbies - and a LOVELY pretty please face!

  6. Da tabbies have good advice.
    There are 4 of us-2 boys,2-girls.
    The boys are older-19years.
    Georgia is 13 and Julie is 7. Julie also chases and scares Georgia.
    We think that is why Georgia got constipated twice!
    Mum had to separate them for a while in separate rooms.
    They are still not best buds,but tolerate each other.
    We like the idea of slowly re-introducing them after a period of separation.
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure and JJ

  7. I agree with the Trouters too but someone might need a small dose of a calming med.

  8. We bet that's making Dad very sad.

    We have a link to a good article written by a vet who has a weekly column in our newspaper. This is from his site:
    Maybe there will be some new ideas for those two.

  9. Well, we have our issues here and unfortunately we're forced to keep Wally and Zoey separated from one another most of the time. But the Trout Tabbies gave you some good tips...and like the Random Felines say, Gracie and Millie may need to be reintroduced to one another. There's a good book called "Cat Whisperer" written by a cat behaviorist which may also have some good suggestions.

  10. There are already great advice mentioned already! Here in our home, Goro is alfa kitty and Niko was often intimidated. What helped him become more confident is many high places. I think catifying home helps! Also, playing food game (like puzzle box) together has helped them bond better.

  11. We don't has any advice nearly as good as we have read here! We hope that one or several of these things work and that Miss Millie can learn to be nicer to her sister. Maybe giving them treats when they are together and being calm would help them associate time together with tasty things coming their way when they are "good girls"?

  12. Your pretty please face is darling, Katie.
    Our Princeton has always bullied Precious and sprays, too. Mommy cleans incessantly and will be reading these comments too to see if there is any help. Good luck to them and their sweet furbabies.


  13. We have six boxes for four cats, all in different parts of the house.

    In the past, some people mentioned using calming collars that worked quite well.

    There is also a supplement called Zylkene which is available in Canada, but perhaps not in the US. It is to calm stress in everything from cats to horses and is based on milk. We have found it works quite well.

    Hope that helps a little.

    The Chans

  14. I have no advice at all, being a doggie and all. I don't know about spraying, but it seems fun. Wait. What?

    Love and licks,

  15. Oh dear.....poor Dad trying to deal with these girls. I feel bad for poor Gracie being bullied though so something needs to change. Putting the litterboxes far away from each other might work - then Millie wouldn't necessarily know when Gracie is using it and leave her alone. Keeping them separated for a few days if possible sounds like a good idea too with the "reintroduction" possibly at a TREAT time so they think being together NICELY means treats. It's sad that the girls have this issue but hopefully one of the suggestions given works!!

    Love, Sammy

  16. Oh that's awful. We don't have any extra advice, just deep sympathy.

  17. We are 2 cats with one tray as we love having the Fullers Earth Clumping Cat litter - Mum just takes the solid pee out the tray and gets rid of it. There is nothing further that needs doing apart from the weekly tray being given a good wash and a further new one being used. Their poop is scooped out and flushed down the toilet!

  18. That is a lovely pretty please face!
    Have a wonderful Wednesday...

    Noodle and crew

  19. Sure wish I knew but I am certain those with multiple cat households can help them out! xoxo

  20. Oh, girls, we wish you could get along, but we completely understand the situation. We strongly agree with Da Tabbies and Random Felines' advice. Our sister Ruby, who loves having her own room, needs to be watched so that her sister Olivia doesn't chase and corner her. For some reason, Olivia thinks Ruby is a toy and enjoys getting her to squeal. Thankfully, we have a room that can be closed off and that Ruby can feel safe in. Good luck! We hope you find a solution that works for you!

  21. Well, since I'm an "only child" (he he) we don't have any advice as we haven't had any problems. But it sure sounds like you got some pretty good suggestions for a solution to their problem. Sweetheart, that is a "stunning" picture of you on top! I loves it!!

  22. Oh sweet Katie, we so feel fur poor Gracie. Unfurtunately she is most likely da one dat is sprayin' outta insecurity and needin' to go. Of course Millie could also be doin' a little to continue her dominance over sweet Gracie. They are both bootyful girls and we so hate to hear and see this. Raena be tryin' her bestest to do this very thing to me right now. Fankfully she is still a kitten and mommy recognizes it and either puts a stop to it ASAP or tells me to whacky paw her. We know Jackson Galaxy has dealt with this very purrobablem on his show many times. Their daddy might wanna check out purrevious episodes fur tips. We think mostly they state to start all over with the introductions basically and site swapping and such. We'll send lots of purrayers fur these gawjus girls and their pawsum daddy who isn't giving up on them. They are pbviously well loved and cared fur.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

  23. Just sending purrayerss and paws up that some of this great advice helps these kitties & their Dad !

  24. I know how hard it is when kitties aren't getting along. Like others, I really like Trout Towne Tabbies' advice and Brian's advice about a calming med is good too. When Pierrot came to live here, he was two, Annie was eight. There were never any litter box issues, thankfully, but he gets aggressive with her, mainly when he's hungry. We used Feliway and it seemed to help but not completely. Annie was so miserable that I put her, not him, on Prozac for six months (with our vet's advice of course). It helped her immensely! She's been so much happier and comfortable and confident since. This was almost two years ago now. I realize this situation isn't the same as Gracie & Millie's. I really hope their dad finds good suggestions that work for these two girls. By the way, your "pretty please" expression is adorable!

  25. The Trout Towne Tabbies and Random Felines gave some spot on advice. Maybe you could try calming collars, too?

  26. I am sorry poor Gracie is getting bullied, they both look so sweet. Maybe kitty Prozac would calm MIllie down. I know Jackson Galaxy always suggests vertical space for cats to escape like a pole or shelves up higher. Also, he could try to re introduce them.

  27. Great advice from Trout Towne. I must say, I believe that I believe Millie is bored. She knows that Gracie is a cat, like her. I really think that she is trying to get Gracie to play with her. She is young and has a lot of pent-up energy. Unfortunately, it is coming out in a negative way. Since Gracie is not playing with her, someone needs to. The humans need to get toys and wear her out. I recommend twice a day, at least. They could take turns; the more often, the better. It is good to set a schedule for this activity. She will get used to that and even look forward to it. Wand toys are great for fun, exercise, and, yes, wearing them out. Also get balls, things that move, make sounds, light up. She needs someone to play with her. I do not think this is aggression, just boredom and frustration. She needs to and wants to play!

  28. Mom read all the comments with interest as we have some of the same problems here with spraying and bullying. We do suggest the calming collars. They have worked for us. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  29. My sympathy to the Dad. This is a tough issue.
    At PAWS we have many small rooms with cats free to roam. We expanded the areas by going vertically with shelves, wall mounted boxes, and cat trees. Every high area has two ways out, so no cat is trapped there. My husband built all the wall furniture, but places like Ikea have many inexpensive pieces that can be repurposed. It has made a huge difference in giving shy cats courage and keeping peace at the shelter.
    I agree about lots of play to tire out Millie, and separating the litter boxes in different parts of the house.
    One more thing- our Rufus the Red was a bully when he first came. My husband and I would end up chasing him and yelling when he went after Mickey Mouser. We read on the internet that we were adding to the stress of the situation. When we calmed down and spoke quietly (not easy!) and sweetly to them when a confrontation started, it really did get better! Best wishes to the Dad!

  30. Goodness! We are having that problem with Jo Jo! She is most mean to mes!The bedroom is now my Purrsonal territory and the doors is closed most of the time to stop JoJo from attacking mes. Keeping us separate is the only thing to bes done.
    Nellie Bellie

  31. Dearest Katie-Isabella,
    Sad when not all kitties get along well.
    We did have a problem with the one, a very sick young male, that someone dropped off at our place. We found him in the magnolia tree. We did spent some $ 800 on him at the vet for paying all his medical bills and still he never got healthy. He also did attack the tiny Tiggy-Tiger, one of our original 5 siblings (one got hit by a car and died) so we had to make the very hard decision for having him being put to sleep. There was no way it would have worked and we only got into this due to some coward people dumping him off at our place. Making us have 8 kittens to take care of.
    Sending you hugs and blessings also from our happy six kitties. They get along so well now.



Leave your meows, barks and snorgles and we'll appreciate every one. XXOO