Who THAT who say WHO THAT when *I* say WHO THAT??

Kitties!  It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times. There Mommy and I were, settled in the bed...me on her chesticles, and she under the covers all warm and snug with my purrsonal heat helping.  I was being petted Kitties, and chin scritchies and forehead rubs by the light of the little lamp next to the bed.

Suddenly, in the complete stillness of the room and house, coming from the dark hallway, there was a bump!  A thump!  It made me rare up and twist around (careful not to puncture mommy) and jump down to investigate! I am the Protector.   NOTHING gets past me without a thorough inspection and if it isn't safe, multiple bities will be laid on the offender.  I disappeared into the deep dark nite nite time and mom admitted she was a little concerned even though she had me.

So, she got out of the bed, and came bravely into the hallway.  As she passed by the small human litterbox, she saw THIS Kitties.  I did too at the same time.  The guilty party!  An obstreperous THREE INCH bristle monster!  It was going to roll in to the bedroom and attack us while we were sleeping, but *I* was too alert and ferocious!  I killed it.  It was dispatched to jail in an uncomfortable plastic box!  We are safe for the night!  Thanks to me.

You fat ugly Bristle Monster! Take THAT! 

I saved the day..er...night Kitties and Woofies.  Nothing can faze me!

Mommy?  Are you sure that thing is in jail?  I heard a thump again to my right in the hallway...maybe!  My monocle is missing on accounta my white eyebrow fell out, but I can still see that fat bristle monster if it is rolling in here! You'll be safe with me!

Kitties, Here I am to save the day!

pee ess:  True story, Kitties.  When that monster (velcro roller)jumped down off the shelf it gave both of us a start in the super silent house).